Life has been challenging lately. I struggle between doing enough for the children and trying to keep up with the daily duty which seems overwhelming when routine cannot offer its hand in helping to keep days in order. Just when I thought life would be settling because Cricket was here and we were done with our high risk pregnancy, a storm settled in right over us and hasn’t let up yet. It’s been a perfect storm of doctors, specialists, lab checks, ultrasounds, dentists, oral surgeons, pediatricians and repeat visits to all aforementioned medical professionals with accompanying visits to labs and pharmacies. A storm of aging parents-in-law, asthma attacks, toddler’s head meeting cement driveway, potty training with subsequent daily wall washings, front porch falling apart, husband’s work vehicle in hospice care after an expensive resuscitation, and lawnmower dying in an unceremonious heap.
I have been praying for a gentle mother’s heart, a heart like the Blessed Mother’s. It’s been a prayer very near to my heart. When life speeds up and roars past, I confess I am not as patient or gentle as I should be or want to be. I’m in checklist mode trying to simply get through the list of the day and catch up with what didn’t get done yesterday. That is not the kind of mother I want to be. That is not the kind of mother my children need. A dear friend of mine shared this inspiring quote from the Forty Dreams of St. John Bosco that really spoke to my weary self and inspired me:
St. John Bosco writes: